Opinion, finally

It seems I've been ragging on local reporters lately, so I decided to calm down for awhile. Then I saw

After more than a month-long delay, the NMI Retirement Fund will finally choose this week a third party administrator to handle the
government's newly created defined contribution plan.

in the Saipan Tribune. If I'd been reading it online, I would have spewed coffee all over my keyboard. There is no source in the article for the words in bold. How can the public be expected to know the difference between opinion and factual reporting if reporters don't get it?

That got me started again, but I was determined not to write about the dozens of errors I found in just a few stories. The newspapers have Editors, after all, don't they?

Enter the Marianas Variety with the headline 182 Tinian employees to get retroactive pay, finally. Arrgh, it sent me into a Lewis Black frenzy.

All right, sometimes I let little things upset me too much. In fact, why not get rid of editorials and columns? Just put the word finally at the end of every headline. Let's see what we'd get with the Variety's Local News:

Democratic Party seeking candidates for Legislature, finally
MVA has 1-year supply of gloves, bags for cleanups, finally
Red flag at South Laulau Beach, finally
Tinian lawmakers push reprogramming of $3.9M for airport landing system, finally
Garment industry opposes wage hike so it can survive, finally
182 Tinian employees to get retroactive pay, finally, finally
GOP may amend rules governing precinct clubs, finally
Man on probation arrested for assaulting girlfriend, again, finally
Ex-MPLA chairwoman testifies in Deleon Guerrero’s lawsuit vs gov’t, finally
26 homesteaders face revocation, finally
Woman loses purse, money to snatcher, finally
Bush proposes $403.8M for Insular Affairs, finally

Those other headlines and writing errors? Maybe later, I've got to take a nap.