email antidote

I don't get many phony opinion pieces attributed to celebrities and scurrilous 'somebody told my aunt' rumors in my email these days. That may have something to do with my tendency to shoot back at the sender with snarky remarks about their gullibility.

When they come, snopes.com is a grand place to check them out. Obviously, most aren't worth the time. (BTW, why are there so many about Barack Obama while John McCain gets a free ride?)

I subscribe to their newsletter to see what I've missed, but handle it with care. Once I get started it takes me an hour to sort through the interesting and funny rumors. Every page leads to another.

"Don't blame me"

George Carlin got me going this time. I never could resist the man's humor, and the fake views on aging even have his voice. That led to how he felt about this garbage: i.e. "sappy load of shit". It's a short jump from there to his home page, naturally.

Then there's that Larry Miller guy. Being mistaken for George Carlin and Dennis Miller is a neat trick, something like mixing oil and water. Worth checking out, I thought. Waste of time, that: there's no there, there.

Still, you get the point. For me, it's another time-trap. Happily, I got another favorite out of the exercise:

Make the Pie Higher!
(Attributed to George Bush)

I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It's a world of madmen and uncertainty
and potential memory losses

Rarely is the question asked
is our children learning?
Will the highways of the internet become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?

The misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish can coexist.
Families is where our nation finds hope, and where our wings take dream.

Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher! Make the pie higher!