Runoff the mouth

I broke a rule yesterday by talking about the next CNMI Governor in the bar.

Well, it's not a rule actually-- just a good idea when there are a lot of candidates and only one job. The odds aren't good that you're talking to somebody who'd agree with you, which can be bad for business.

I usually won't talk politics in USSP unless someone else brings it up, but I'd just noticed a 'Yes 2 Kumoi' bumper sticker (Y2K Get it?). Perfect. I could make a joke and get a read on his opinion of Ray Guerrero, who's a pretty polarizing man.

I'm sneaky that way. It didn't work. I slipped in a line about every Governor being captive of outside forces like the tourism industry. Guessing (rightly) that he'd voted for Ben Fitial last time, I allowed as how it was a thankless job and it was hard to blame the Governor for events outside of his control.

I'd forgotten he was a retiree*. No mention of Kumoi, and he'd only say 'not this time' about Fitial. He didn't want to talk about other guys like Diego Benavente. All in all, it was another lesson for me about avoiding the subject.

The primary reason for losing an election

So I'll avoid it again. Well, soon anyway: first I want to chuckle about the Republican's and Democrat's (if there are any left locally) primaries. I've been amazed for years that candidates pick their running mate going into the primary.

It's short-sighted logic; you have a better chance of winning the primary but limit your options for the general election. That may have worked in the past when there was more party loyalty. Even then, the losing candidates and their families/supporters often threatened to sit out the election or jump to your opponent.

Picking a running mate after the primary would probably result in a stronger, more 'balanced' (wink) ticket. Then again, anyone who tried it would likely lose, so it will never happen.

Also, everyone's an independent these days, so a runoff election between the top two candidates is almost guaranteed.

* If you're outside the Commonwealth and just happened across this post, the CNMI Retirement Fund is expected to be broke in three, four or five years, depending on who you believe. The government has turned it into a Ponzi scheme by not paying its share in recent years.

And how absurd is it?

I've been having a hard time writing about Saipan lately.

It's just that things have gotten so absurd that it isn't funny. Except that it is. I can picture some late-night comedian saying "it's so ridiculous that...."

The Governor proclaims a State of Emergency because the Power Plant may blow up.

The U.S. Congress adds a special 'CNMI only' labor category because the local government says existing rules will Osterize our economy-- and the Governor wants to sue because no other U.S. jurisdiction has to put up with these onerous requirements.

The closed-door meeting to push for his suit has to be postponed because of a power outage.

The public is brought into the discussion when the Governor posts his talking points on You Tube.

My son asks me if it's true that the (new) Public Utility Commission is to blame for our power problems as the Governor claims.

The Commonwealth Utilities Corporation has more liabilities than assets but the Legislature wants to require a minimum bid for privatization.

Questionable hiring practices have plagued CUC, but the Legislature wants to ensure jobs are "protected" during privatization.

There's no money in the budget for retirement contributions but the Retirement Fund is being asked to risk its dwindling reserves investing in CUC.

The government is bloated (also see retirement contributions) but is trying to argue that there just aren't enough local workers to staff private businesses.

CUC keeps promising to train local workers this time if they just get another extension to hire contract workers.

The Northern Marianas College's director for institutional advancement moves over to shaky private Emmanuel College.

That's just off the top of my head. Now, what did I miss?