Well, the response to my State of the Commonwealth Sarcasm Contest was underwhelming. Maybe I needed better prizes, but after the walkathon and some class's trip to Petaluma, businesses just weren't in a giving mood.
Quality we got, albeit anonymously. Drumroll please:
First Ever Sarcasm winner is "No need to waste money on a meeting. Have everybody turn on their government cell phones and make it a Conference Call."
Which is only a winner because the Legislature was not eligible (I didn't tell you all of the rules). According to the Saipan Tribune, "As a compromise, the House included a provision in its resolution that no public funds should be spent to pay for excess power consumption, equipment rentals, and transportation, as well as personnel costs, before, during and after the event." Kind of like CUC, I guess. Passing a Resolution will Make It So.
Second Ever "Sarcasm" Award winner: "Have the State of the Commonwealth in the Fiesta Mall. We can have the boys from Tanapag throw rolls of quarters at Legislative cars instead of throwing rocks at tour buses."
Special Merit Award to Glen who placed the magic ""s wherever there was a "you". "It's all about them isn't it?"
Another argument against evolution: The Old Testament is written with a vocabulary of about 5,800 words. The New Testament, about 4,800.