Pumpkin carving time

Nope, you didn't click on Doc Khorram's site by mistake, this is a panel from Ray Villafane's pumpkin carving tutorial. Amazing stuff, though maybe too much for Saipan's underwater pumpkin carving contest.

I wish I'd run across this site a day or so earlier; this isn't like my usual hack a gourd.

I'd recommend a little patience. The page wouldn't load the first time and I got a server error the second. It looks like he's getting a lot of hits. I finally got through by trying the home page http://www.villafanestudios.com/ instead of the "pumpkins" page.

More photos on MySpace.

Traffic

I love driving down Beach Road in the morning, so complaining when my son misses the bus to Hopwood Jr. High is mostly a parent thing. I'm expected to give The Lecture about Responsibility and Being On Time.

The stretch from Garapan to Oleai --where the road is actually on the beach-- used to be my favorite place to hang out. BS of course: before silting. It's soothing to check the tide, the birds, the people, the boats and ships. Strangely, there's not much traffic going South at 7:30.

Not today. The guy in front of me was going 25 or 30 miles per hour. I can deal with that by hanging back so it averages out. In fact, it was a nostalgic feeling, like being stuck behind a carabao cart years 'n years ago. The problem was the cars behind me. I got crowded every time I left too much distance in front of me.

So much for gawking, so I treated it as a teachable moment. In fact, I've got to get my camera into the shop, I could have made a video for a Driver Education class.

To lower my blood pressure, I calmly noted the fool tailgating us. Did I say fool? Hmm, hope not; that's setting a bad example. Even more calmly (desperately calm) I noted the speed-challenged fellow who wouldn't let me pass but sped up so he could wildly swerve into my lane and make a left turn.

Hmm, let's get in the right lane and let the Speed Racers go by. Woops, I almost nailed that guy turning in front of me; at least a three-car collision if I hadn't been watching for a bonehead move. Did you get that, son? Calmly.

Still calm, I explained I had crept into the sidewalk at the Marianas High School light because I had noticed in my rearview mirror that we would have been rear-ended if I stopped in front of the line. Those tourists in the crosswalk have the right of way, I said. Nevermind what I called the guy switching lanes to pass me.

Luckily, he had already 'gotten down' when I pulled up at the No Left Turn sign to leave Hopwood. I vented a little to myself when that, that, that woman pulled up to my right blocking my view of oncoming traffic so she could get five seconds in front of me.

Does anybody actually obey that sign? Is it a real traffic sign? That's similar territory to passing in the bike lane when someone is turning left, we've had that talk too, I think he's old enough. Yes, it's against the law I told him, in fact, it's a question on the Driver's Exam. But no one follows it, including the police.

So the subject didn't come up today (the above happened Wednesday). That must have been a bad day. Today was another smooth, peaceful jaunt along the beach. Well, until we ran into a funeral for the second day in a row.

Why do they run these processions at rush hour, with officers jumping out at every intersection to make things worse? Okay, rush hour is an exaggeration. This is still Saipan. Still, it doesn't seem unreasonable to schedule them a half-hour earlier or later.

Ah, traffic lights. I miss the old days, when people would stop a line of traffic to let someone pull out at a stop sign. That was another sort of aggravation, but it had a certain charm.

Biased news helps Obama campaign

WFTV's Barbara West defends her interview.

The Obama campaign disagrees.

And I disagree with both. That stuff is all over the web in some circles. The Obama campaign should use the interview in its advertising.

College grade

Could the Northern Marianas College actually shut down? I've been on Saipan long enough that I'm used to brinksmanship; thinking the current 'show cause' status was just another example of mañana meeting reality.

Despite the article in today's Saipan Tribune about a closure plan I was still in denial about NMC losing accreditation.

I'm not alone, though. The article includes the incredible statement that some officials "are aware officials are coming, but didn't know they would be using that visit to help determine NMC's future." Why else would they be coming?

Just a minor thing, a comment in Must be the Humidity woke me up. I went back and gave the story a closer read. This is not good.

The CNMI has a small population, and NMC has already had to shut down its Rota and Tinian campuses. Maybe we just don't have the resources, or the will, to support a community college. I hope that's not true.

BTW: Governor Benigno R. Fitial has extended the State of Emergency for the Commonwealth Health Center Pharmacy. Mañana.

Murder most virtual

Adding new meaning to "Get a Life", a Japanese women has murdered her online game husband. Funny, except her virtual crime will probably land her in a real jail.

"She is being investigated on suspicion of illegally accessing a computer and manipulating data, a crime punishable with up to five years in prison or a fine of up to £3,160."

I'd never heard of Maple Story, so I wiki-ed its marriage rules: Players may participate in in-game marriages at the town of Amoria. Guests may be invited to the wedding, and the marrying couple will receive wedding ring items. The wedding "ceremony" requires the completion of various quests. If a premium wedding ticket from the Cash Shop was purchased, the player is entitled to have a party after the ceremony. In Amoria Dungeon, players can fight exclusive monsters. The KoreaMS version of Amoria has been altered to remove the training grounds and the Chapel area, leaving only the Cathedral. MapleStory currently does not allow same-sex marriage.

Is she the strange one for erasing his avatar, or does he top her by filing charges? The story mentions other internet strangeness:

— A Chinese man was arrested in Japan in 2005 on suspicion of carrying out a virtual mugging spree in the online game Lineage II and exchanging the stolen virtual goods for real cash

— Last year an animated character in Second Life, the popular online fantasy world, “raped” another character

— A Dutch teenager was charged last November with the virtual theft of furniture from rooms in Habbo Hotel, an online social networking site

There are 50 million Maple Stories, this has been one of them.

Elephants and bubbles

It's sad to hear that Carmen Safeway is closing, but I really wasn't going to write about it. Like Blockbuster and other businesses that have been shutting down it's the inevitable result of a shrinking economy. Besides, it's my fault.

It's a systemic problem, but we look at each failed business like the blind men describing an elephant*.

During the garment bubble** all foreign "investors" were welcomed with open arms. A karaoke bar or strip mall was equivalent to a water park.

Back up a moment here. What distinguishes the United States from developing countries? I'd argue that it's a strong middle class (We'll ignore the last eight years; it's my argument).

The CNMI has never asked the basic question: Development for who? Cheap labor has trumped local labor. Where are the mechanics, the hairdressers, the Joe Plumbers? They're on Guam, in the mainland or stuck in the government.

The few citizens or residents who own businesses are swamped by shoestring startups. I don't blame the Chinese, the Koreans, the Filipinos or any other group that comes here. They don't make the rules and the government has never tried to make the local workforce the driver of the economy.

Ah, but times are hard. Local workers who can't find a job or start a business are looking at the "outsiders" and asking 'what about me?' There will always be demagogues to fan those flames. It's noteworthy that the violent in-your-face crimes are aimed at foreign nationals.

The garment bubble has popped. We're left with tourism and transfer payments from the federal government. Most of the small foreign businesses came here in good faith. Ideally, they never would have come, but I'd support grandfathering them when stricter federal investment rules come in next year. That's no excuse to continue down a road that's so obviously a deadend. As Zaldy Dandan points out in Friday's Marianas Variety, the system is dysfunctional. It's too bad local leaders don't know how to fix it.

Oh, Carmen Safeway is (was) one of my favorite stores: an excellent bakery, good quality meat and vegetables and a lot of Japanese products. It's my fault they closed because I've been going to bakeries/stores that are closer or cheaper with merchandise that is 'almost as good'.

* You must have heard the story, but for anyone who missed it: One man fondled the trunk and announced that an elephant was like a snake. Another stroked a leg and said no, it's more like a tree trunk. And so on...

** Speculating while building an economy around an obscure customs footnote (Headnote 3(a)) fits my definition of a bubble

'Free' elections?

Only one candidate for the CNMI's Washington Delegate seat has reported any campaign contributions or expenditures, according to the Federal Election Commission. Washington Representative Pedro A. Tenorio reported receiving $31,498.

Strangely, John Oliver Gonzales, Juan T. Lizama and Gregorio "Kilili" Sablan aren't listed as candidates. Apparently there's a $5,000 threshold before reporting is required. That's one possibility, and my opinion is worth the phosphor it's printed on. The answer might be in the FEC Campaign Guide (PDF).

Felipe Q. Atalig, David M. Cing, Luis P. Crisostimo, John H. Davis, Jr. and Chong Man Won listed no receipts or disbursements.

From the FEC website: "Committees filing with the FEC generally submit reports on a quarterly or monthly schedule. Quarterly reports cover the calendar quarters and are due on April 15, July 15, October 15 and January 31. Monthly reports cover the calendar months and are typically due on the 20th day of the following month."

Again, I've just been skipping around the website, but candidates who are used to the Commonwealth's enforcement should note that there are fines and no extensions.

I went to the horse's, er, source because the information at OpenSecrets appeared to have little change from what I saw last month.

At both sites, Pedro A. Tenorio is the only candidate reporting contributions (and expenditures).

I've really been curious about this. Stay tuned.

In my last post I was too lazy to check, but it seems contributions over $200 must be reported.