No news is bad news

Another Saipan garment factory is shutting down. (Marianas Variety), but that's not really news, is it? Let's see, 154 people will lose their jobs. And if 13 are residents, the percentage is...? 8.44%.

There are extenuating circumstances, maybe, but the low percentage isn't news either. My friends (mostly contract workers) in the Human Resources departments of various big companies* tell me they're having a hard time getting twenty percent, never mind thirty percent.

I played a friend in my pool league a couple of weeks ago. He was glad to see me, because he was hired by JAL on Guam and was leaving in a few days. That's not news, I've had the same conversation about once a week for more than two years.

I've talked to two local job-hunters this week. They sounded desperate. Nothing new there.

What's wrong with this picture?

What about the hundreds of high school kids who will be dumped on the street in a couple of months?

*No names, please; just say they have more than one vote in the Saipan Chamber of Commerce and leave it at that.

To be continued

Pole dances with wolves

Is this a trend? I've spotted display advertising for dancers in the Saipan Tribune twice this week. Not those classified snippets that real job hunters ignore, but honest-to-goodness ads in the front of the paper.

I'm interested. NEED A JOB AND MONEY DAILY??? Yep, that's me. 50% commission daily and the tips are all mine. But wait: 21 years old to 28 years old. Isn't that against the law? Can I call the EEOC?

Maybe I'd have more luck at the second place. Besides, it's a sports bar, so I'm sure the dancing would be more artistic. What? TWA's only? Now I'm really pissed off.

What I'm saying, not too subtly, is that we know what they're looking for. You just can't come out and say it in print these days.

Side-strip

I've led a sheltered life lately, so help me out here. It seems like all of the dancers are from the mainland via Guam or from the Philippines. Is that true? If so, I'm just wondering why.

While I'm exposing my ignorance, I thought the P.I. didn't let people exit if their job category was Dancer.

Slideshow

I lost interest in those places well before I got married. There's not much thrill in seeing someone who would obviously rather be somewhere else watch herself chew gum in the mirror.

Sorry, but the stripping I've seen here is like Lindsay Dee Lohan trying to be Marilyn Monroe. Thanks for the mammaries, but you have no talent.

I may have forgotten others, but the only club I remember trying to choreograph a show and even be mildly entertaining was the old Kimchi Cabana in Oleai. They weren't X-rated, really not even R. More like a PG-13, which may be why I'd sometimes see a DeLorean parked off to the side.

Exit pole

I'm ready to jump (and slam my heels on the stage) on this if it's a trend.

I'm thinking Amateur Night. That is, if I can convince my wife. Now, if I can just jury-rig a pole through the hanging ceiling.