Detainee Massages Governor

The Marianas Variety's Human smuggling defendant is governor’s masseuse gets my vote for story of the year. It's only January, but how can you top that?

The Variety says four Corrections officers escorted a Chinese woman being held for the U.S. Marshal to and from jail so Governor Benigno R. Fitial could get a massage*. Seriously.

Nobody's talking --except the Variety source(s) -- but this has all the makings of a story with legs. I'm amazed the national media haven't picked it up yet.

They will, though this probably isn't the best way to put the CNMI on the map.

Words fail me. Well, almost. It's absolutely amazing that an administration fighting to control alien labor would do this with a human smuggling defendant in federal custody. Who came up with this idea? I don't know, but there are going to be consequences.

Read the story; 'fair use' means I shouldn't quote the whole thing. I'll just wait to hear more from the Attorney General and the feds.

Off massage

Meanwhile, some wag said it was 'work release' program.

Groan. But then, I had to keep up: "I wonder if she was wearing one of those orange jumpsuits?"

Back at me: 'Maybe they thought it was part of the federal stimulus package.'

I gave up before it got out of control.

* For those of you with dirty minds, the Variety carefully notes: "In 2006, Fitial underwent a series of operations to treat his spinal stenosis, a medical condition in which the spinal canal narrows and compresses the spinal cord and nerves." Still, the island is awash in massage parlors; some of them are even legitimate.