Saipan oops: sun, sand and sex

A recent post from tripadvisor.com shows that Saipan still has a way to go in promoting itself:

I just returned from 2 days in Saipan in April. We stayed the the Century Hotel, and it was nice enough. Overall, we were disappointed in Saipan because of all the dodgy gambling houses and hookers. Hookers approached me on the street while I was walking with my wife. We felt unsafe in Saipan, and thought our things would be stolen at any moment. We were glad to leave, expecially when the only cafe at the airport sold $5 water and soft drinks. I wouldn't recommend Saipan to the island traveller - Guam and Palau were so much better.

The Aquarius Beach Tower got mostly great reviews, and none of them dissed Saipan. Well, except for "Also, you will be far away from Garapan, the crowds of tourists, cheesy shops and hookers."

A personal view for readers not familiar with Saipan: the hookers are certainly all over Garapan, but generally not too aggressive (at least to 'statesiders'; you can say haole if you're smiling). Either it's getting better or I don't notice as much. The problem still needs more attention, but for me it's certainly not threatening or dangerous.

That said, I had one lovely lass try to jump into my car when I was leaving a general store. Walking over to the Paseo de Marianas for my five buck Thursday supper-- which at today's grocery prices here is cheaper than cooking for the family-- makes me feel like Robert Stack wading through the airport Hare Krishna in the movie Airplane!. My son asked what a 'massageee' was on our stroll there last week. I said a relaxing back rub or some such nonsense. "Let's take a different route back," I suggested. "Maybe I can get another offer." I did.

It's not just the night ladies; Garapan restaurants have their hawkers on the street too, though they usually stick to the Japanese tourists.

Traffic

I love driving down Beach Road in the morning, so complaining when my son misses the bus to Hopwood Jr. High is mostly a parent thing. I'm expected to give The Lecture about Responsibility and Being On Time.

The stretch from Garapan to Oleai --where the road is actually on the beach-- used to be my favorite place to hang out. BS of course: before silting. It's soothing to check the tide, the birds, the people, the boats and ships. Strangely, there's not much traffic going South at 7:30.

Not today. The guy in front of me was going 25 or 30 miles per hour. I can deal with that by hanging back so it averages out. In fact, it was a nostalgic feeling, like being stuck behind a carabao cart years 'n years ago. The problem was the cars behind me. I got crowded every time I left too much distance in front of me.

So much for gawking, so I treated it as a teachable moment. In fact, I've got to get my camera into the shop, I could have made a video for a Driver Education class.

To lower my blood pressure, I calmly noted the fool tailgating us. Did I say fool? Hmm, hope not; that's setting a bad example. Even more calmly (desperately calm) I noted the speed-challenged fellow who wouldn't let me pass but sped up so he could wildly swerve into my lane and make a left turn.

Hmm, let's get in the right lane and let the Speed Racers go by. Woops, I almost nailed that guy turning in front of me; at least a three-car collision if I hadn't been watching for a bonehead move. Did you get that, son? Calmly.

Still calm, I explained I had crept into the sidewalk at the Marianas High School light because I had noticed in my rearview mirror that we would have been rear-ended if I stopped in front of the line. Those tourists in the crosswalk have the right of way, I said. Nevermind what I called the guy switching lanes to pass me.

Luckily, he had already 'gotten down' when I pulled up at the No Left Turn sign to leave Hopwood. I vented a little to myself when that, that, that woman pulled up to my right blocking my view of oncoming traffic so she could get five seconds in front of me.

Does anybody actually obey that sign? Is it a real traffic sign? That's similar territory to passing in the bike lane when someone is turning left, we've had that talk too, I think he's old enough. Yes, it's against the law I told him, in fact, it's a question on the Driver's Exam. But no one follows it, including the police.

So the subject didn't come up today (the above happened Wednesday). That must have been a bad day. Today was another smooth, peaceful jaunt along the beach. Well, until we ran into a funeral for the second day in a row.

Why do they run these processions at rush hour, with officers jumping out at every intersection to make things worse? Okay, rush hour is an exaggeration. This is still Saipan. Still, it doesn't seem unreasonable to schedule them a half-hour earlier or later.

Ah, traffic lights. I miss the old days, when people would stop a line of traffic to let someone pull out at a stop sign. That was another sort of aggravation, but it had a certain charm.

Subway fare

"Dad, why are they charging us tax?" my son asked.

"Hmm?" I hadn't been paying attention, but I didn't know how much his Subway sandwich cost and the total for both of us wasn't out of line.

"There's no sales tax on Saipan," I finally said.

"No, I saw sixty-one cents for tax on the register," he insisted.

There it was on the receipt: BGRT .61. The gross receipts tax is five percent, but that seems a little sneaky, especially when they're advertising their pre-tax prices to draw us in.

Now I'm wondering if there are other businesses treating the BGRT as a sales tax. I normally check my receipts and haven't noticed it.

It's a small thing anyway, and not likely to keep me away. Still, here's the Kingston Trio chestnut M.T.A. in honor of the Garapan Subway.

Goofy dog alert

Angelo Villagomez' winsome dog Oreo has gone missing in Chinatown/Garapan. Please call 285-6462 if you have any information.

"Oreo is a small white dog with some black fur. He answers to "Oreo" and is wearing a brown leather collar with silver metal studs."

Found, evidently

As others see us

From Robert Burns, you might remember. The last stanza of the poem To A Louse he saw crawling on a lady's head in church:

O would some Power the gift to give us
To see ourselves as others see us!
It would from many a blunder free us,
And foolish notion:
What airs in dress and gait would leave us,
And even devotion!

The lice are in Garapan, of course. I thought of the line when I saw more bad Saipan exposure at tripadvisor:

We (family of 5) just visited Saipan a couple of weeks ago. Like you, we live in Japan. We stayed at the Hyatt and found it to be very nice. There were some kids at the pool, but that's about the only place. However, the area outside of the hotel is very, very shabby, almost third-world like. Very cheap looking karaoke places and hostess bars. Japan has these kinds of areas, but the ones in Saipan were much more sleazy. Since JAL stopped flying about a year or two ago, the economy has apparently taken a nose dive. As we drove around the island one day, it seemed that at least half or more of the places of business were closed up. There are certainly some interesting historical places and the Hyatt is very nice. But, I think that if you're looking for some nice nightlife, you're going to be very disappointed.

I wasn't going to mention it, but there's a story today about a new resort. There's been a lot of talk about lipstick on pigs lately. Sadly, if tourists won't leave their hotels, that's my reaction.