I don't follow their day-to-day travails, so I was surprised to learn that the Guam Waterworks Authority is subject to a stipulated order with the Environmental Protection Agency much like ours.
Nothing new for the Commonwealth Utilities Corporation. It is good news to see all the management positions they've been advertising.
This is the text of the EPA release on GWA:
HONOLULU -- The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency today penalized the Guam Waterworks Authority $57,000 for failing to fully comply with a stipulated order to make improvements to its drinking water and wastewater systems.
GWA was penalized for the continued failure to meet a December 31, 2008 deadline for completing a condition assessment to determine the structural stability and soundness of steel tank water reservoirs that need immediate assessment, and for failure to complete a condition assessment of the remaining steel tank water reservoirs by December 31, 2009. Some of the tanks have severely corroded exterior walls, roofs, or valves, or are missing tank parts.
“The penalties are a consequence of GWA’s continued failure to meet the stipulated order requirements and complete the necessary improvements to provide reliable drinking water service to residents,” said Alexis Strauss, Water Division director for the EPA’s Pacific Southwest region. “These water storage tanks are a critical component of the GWA water system, as they help ensure water pressure and adequate flow throughout the system and prevent contaminants from entering the water supply.”
The condition assessment of GWA water tanks was to be performed in two phases. High priority tanks were to be assessed by December 2008, and all other tanks by December 2009. Although GWA did an initial, visual inspection of all tanks in 2008, it has not completed the required, full structural assessments of any tanks to date. The $57,000 penalty assessed today is the second imposed by EPA in response to GWA’s failure to complete the tank assessment. On August 17, 2009, EPA assessed a penalty of $19,000 for GWA’s noncompliance with its duty to assess its high priority tanks through that date.
“Many of the tanks located around the island are in poor condition which underscores the need to complete the assessment and address the deficiencies as required by the court order,” said John McCarroll, Pacific Islands Office manager for EPA’s Pacific Southwest region.
The order provides for penalties if established deadlines are not met and for additional penalties until the work is complete. It also requires upgrades and improvements to GWA’s drinking water and wastewater infrastructure to ensure the proper management, treatment and delivery of safe drinking water, and proper wastewater treatment.
Showing posts with label Commonwealth Utilities Corporation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Commonwealth Utilities Corporation. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Will Your CUC cost you $320,000,000?
I really hope I got this wrong.
The Environmental Protection Agency just linked me to a new toy based on Google Earth. It shows most EPA enforcement actions in the United States for 2009.
I dutifully went to the Mariana Islands-- the easiest way is to put New Guinea on the bottom of the map and the Philippines on the left side and slowly center us as you zoom in.
Once you find the islands, just click the type of enforcement action in the box on the left and little flags will pop up showing locations. Click the flag and you get a link to EPA's ECHO (Enforcement & Compliance History Online-- another toy I've been meaning to play with).
Saipan and Rota showed nothing I hadn't heard of, all of the violations except one were for the settlement (Stipulations one and two) CUC and EPA entered into March 11, 2009.
Nothing new at all, until I got to the "Enforcement Conclusion Dollar Amounts" in the ECHO search (Since it's a search, you may have to repeat the process; I can't guarantee the link will still work for very long), which lists the "Compliance Action Cost" at $320,000,000. I'm sure that doesn't include penalties for not meeting the deadlines in the stipulations.
Woa. That's the first estimate I've seen. Am I missing something? Someone please tell me I am.
The Environmental Protection Agency just linked me to a new toy based on Google Earth. It shows most EPA enforcement actions in the United States for 2009.
I dutifully went to the Mariana Islands-- the easiest way is to put New Guinea on the bottom of the map and the Philippines on the left side and slowly center us as you zoom in.
Once you find the islands, just click the type of enforcement action in the box on the left and little flags will pop up showing locations. Click the flag and you get a link to EPA's ECHO (Enforcement & Compliance History Online-- another toy I've been meaning to play with).
Saipan and Rota showed nothing I hadn't heard of, all of the violations except one were for the settlement (Stipulations one and two) CUC and EPA entered into March 11, 2009.
Nothing new at all, until I got to the "Enforcement Conclusion Dollar Amounts" in the ECHO search (Since it's a search, you may have to repeat the process; I can't guarantee the link will still work for very long), which lists the "Compliance Action Cost" at $320,000,000. I'm sure that doesn't include penalties for not meeting the deadlines in the stipulations.
Woa. That's the first estimate I've seen. Am I missing something? Someone please tell me I am.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Let the fines begin
The Environmental Protection Agency has dropped a $29,000 fine on the Commonwealth Utilities Corporation for not following the terms of a year-old Stipulated Order (pdf).
EPA warned in an Oct. 16 email (pdf) that "Our most urgent concern is for CUC to contain its oil spills, oil containers and spill response capabilities immediately before another typhoon threatens the company's facilities and operations." I guess they meant it.
According to the EPA letter, CUC had accumulated $404,000 in penalties under Stipulated Order One (pdf) as of Oct. 9 and $230,000 pursuant to Stipulated Order Two as of Oct. 16. At that time, the fine for failure to submit a Facility Response Plan was $10,000.
Different penalties accrue at different rates, so we can't assume that the $634,000 in stipulated penalties have almost tripled; we can assume they've grown. A lot.
We can look at all of that and say the glass is half-empty, but wait. Let's look at the fine as a shot across CUC's bow: EPA is signaling that it is very serious indeed about the Dec. 31 deadlines like the financial plan, and that it won't be put off like the Legislature. Still, I give the Administration and CUC a lot of credit for ending years of dithering and agreeing to the Stipulated Orders.
Here's the text of EPA's press release (Too lazy to rewrite, I'll use bold to highlight):
EPA warned in an Oct. 16 email (pdf) that "Our most urgent concern is for CUC to contain its oil spills, oil containers and spill response capabilities immediately before another typhoon threatens the company's facilities and operations." I guess they meant it.
According to the EPA letter, CUC had accumulated $404,000 in penalties under Stipulated Order One (pdf) as of Oct. 9 and $230,000 pursuant to Stipulated Order Two as of Oct. 16. At that time, the fine for failure to submit a Facility Response Plan was $10,000.
Different penalties accrue at different rates, so we can't assume that the $634,000 in stipulated penalties have almost tripled; we can assume they've grown. A lot.
We can look at all of that and say the glass is half-empty, but wait. Let's look at the fine as a shot across CUC's bow: EPA is signaling that it is very serious indeed about the Dec. 31 deadlines like the financial plan, and that it won't be put off like the Legislature. Still, I give the Administration and CUC a lot of credit for ending years of dithering and agreeing to the Stipulated Orders.
Here's the text of EPA's press release (Too lazy to rewrite, I'll use bold to highlight):
EPA fines CUC for failing to submit facility oil spill response plan
$29,000 penalty follows missed deadline stipulated in the March 2009 order
HONOLULU – The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency today fined the Commonwealth Utilities Corp. $29,000 for failing to meet the requirements of a stipulated order seeking to reform and bring into compliance CUC’s five power plants and an oil transfer pipeline.
Specifically, the penalty is for failing to submit a satisfactory facility response plan as outlined in the order.
The order required CUC to submit a facility response plan for its Lower Base power plants by July 9, 2009. The plan was submitted by CUC. However, on September 17, 2009, the EPA disapproved the initial submitted plan and provided CUC with 20 days to correct and resubmit the plan. CUC did not resubmit a corrected plan to the EPA.
“U.S. EPA expects the CUC to immediately fulfill its obligations under the stipulated order to ensure that a facility response plan is in place at its main power plant,” said Daniel Meer, the EPA’s assistant Superfund director for the Pacific Southwest region. “The potential for oil releases from their facilities and harm to environment is significant and CUC must implement steps to prevent and prepare for such discharges or face additional penalty demands."
CUC owns five power plants on the islands of Saipan and Rota. The facilities and an oil transfer pipeline on Saipan have a history of releases of oil. The EPA has found that CUC has caused discharges of harmful quantities of oil into the nearshore waters and shorelines.
In addition to past oil releases and the ongoing threats of oil releases from these facilities, CUC has failed to prepare and implement oil spill prevention plans for each of its five power plants and a facility response plan at its main power plant in Saipan, which is near Tanapag Harbor.
A facility response plan is required by the EPA for facilities which store over 1 million gallons of oil and have potential to cause significant and substantial harm to the environment. The plans must document that a facility has the necessary resources and equipment to respond to a worst case discharge at the facility, such as those that can be caused by typhoons and earthquakes. The plan also requires the facility to conduct drills, exercises and training to ensure prompt and effective response to small, medium and large oil spills.
The stipulated order is one of two that was entered by the Court on March 11, 2009. The other order covers water and wastewater issues at the CUC drinking water and wastewater facilities.
Monday, December 15, 2008
PUC to fix CUC's LEAC
Friday evening isn't my best time to be public-spirited, so I'm grateful the Saipan Tribune covered Friday's PUC hearing. My first choice was judicious alcohol-poisoning with a tribe of misogynistic troglodytes, but I had to tend bar at USSP instead.
A three-hour hearing starting at six to kick off my weekend was right up there, but...
So I wasn't one of "About 15 people, many of whom were legislators" who still remember griping by candlelight a few months ago.
Then again, several people are quoted as being overwhelmed by the amount of information they were expected to digest, so I'd probably be in the same boat.
Better, then, that we have a Monday morning GUIDE TO CUC STIPULATIONS. Even that is frustrating: it doesn't give any figures; I assume none were thrown out in the hearing.
It appears the base rate won't change: "Both CUC and Georgetown agree that more work needs to be done before PUC considers restructuring the base rate, and recommend a base rate hearing before the end of 2009."
That leaves the fuel surcharge, reborn as the acronym LEAC.
So how exactly is this six-month "levelized energy adjustment clause" going to be determined?
"Under the tariff, CUC would be able to recover: fuel and generation lubricant costs and delivered fuel and other costs required by the supplier. The LEAC tariff also would factor in CUC's ability to establish and maintain a 30-day fuel inventory and to develop a reserve to support the availability and efficiency of generating units."
Oh.
So how exactly is this six-month "levelized energy adjustment clause" going to be determined?
A three-hour hearing starting at six to kick off my weekend was right up there, but...
So I wasn't one of "About 15 people, many of whom were legislators" who still remember griping by candlelight a few months ago.
Then again, several people are quoted as being overwhelmed by the amount of information they were expected to digest, so I'd probably be in the same boat.
Better, then, that we have a Monday morning GUIDE TO CUC STIPULATIONS. Even that is frustrating: it doesn't give any figures; I assume none were thrown out in the hearing.
It appears the base rate won't change: "Both CUC and Georgetown agree that more work needs to be done before PUC considers restructuring the base rate, and recommend a base rate hearing before the end of 2009."
That leaves the fuel surcharge, reborn as the acronym LEAC.
So how exactly is this six-month "levelized energy adjustment clause" going to be determined?
"Under the tariff, CUC would be able to recover: fuel and generation lubricant costs and delivered fuel and other costs required by the supplier. The LEAC tariff also would factor in CUC's ability to establish and maintain a 30-day fuel inventory and to develop a reserve to support the availability and efficiency of generating units."
Oh.
So how exactly is this six-month "levelized energy adjustment clause" going to be determined?
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Federalization formality
The Commonwealth Utilities Corporation agreed to review and approval of many of its actions by the federal Environmental Protection Agency under the terms of last week's stipulations.
Like it or not, that's federalization. Technically, it is only the formality described by CUC Executive Director Antonio S. Muna. The stipulations were negotiated months ago.
But, according to an EPA press release:
When that happens, Stipulated Order Number One has minimum requirements for a number of positions, including future Executive Directors. Deadlines kick in: for hiring of qualified staff, for an organizational evaluation and reorganization plan (subject to review and alteration by EPA), for (approved) procurement procedures, Standard Operating Procedures, comprehensive training programs... you get the idea. Stipulated Order Number Two deals with oil handling.
It's only for wastewater, drinking water, oil storage, pipelines and spills. Basically, everything but the power plants. And it's bound to be expensive, within 180 days there is supposed to be :
"In the past people wanted to hide from bad news," the Saipan Tribune quotes Gov. Benigno R. Fitial as saying. "We decided to fix the problem instead."
That's twenty years of catch-up in a short time, but this looks like it might work.
Like it or not, that's federalization. Technically, it is only the formality described by CUC Executive Director Antonio S. Muna. The stipulations were negotiated months ago.
But, according to an EPA press release:
The orders were lodged with the U.S. District Court in the Commonwealth of Northern Mariana Islands simultaneously with the filing of a complaint by the U.S. Department of Justice to address violations of the Clean Water Act and Safe Drinking Water Act at facilities owned and operated by CUC. The orders will take effect when signed by the District Court judge following the conclusion of a 30-day public comment period.
When that happens, Stipulated Order Number One has minimum requirements for a number of positions, including future Executive Directors. Deadlines kick in: for hiring of qualified staff, for an organizational evaluation and reorganization plan (subject to review and alteration by EPA), for (approved) procurement procedures, Standard Operating Procedures, comprehensive training programs... you get the idea. Stipulated Order Number Two deals with oil handling.
It's only for wastewater, drinking water, oil storage, pipelines and spills. Basically, everything but the power plants. And it's bound to be expensive, within 180 days there is supposed to be :
A financial management plan which can generate sufficient revenues to cover drinking water and wastewater operations and compliance activities, planning and design of the proposed Village of Kagman wastewater treatment plant, the proper management of oil and used oil from the PP Facilities, oil spill prevention and response activities, as well as any other anticipated related expenses, including all existing debt and expected debt service and the build-up of a financial reserve, discussed more fully below, including the establishment of a rate structure to generate sufficient revenues, until development of the Final Financial Plan based on an approved Master Plan;
"In the past people wanted to hide from bad news," the Saipan Tribune quotes Gov. Benigno R. Fitial as saying. "We decided to fix the problem instead."
That's twenty years of catch-up in a short time, but this looks like it might work.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Complicated CUC problems
I've been thinking about Richard Brautigan for a few days.
It started, like many of my musings these days, with the Commonwealth Utilities Corporation. Oops, I thought, maybe Friday afternoon isn't a good time to pay my bills.
Two laps around the parking lot should have warned me. Maybe they're all in Joeten shopping, thought I. Oh. No. The line snaked in a backwards 'S' around the ropes with its twitching tail almost at the door. They probably just cashed their paychecks. What's my excuse?
Years of training kicked in. I looked for acquaintances to kill some time chatting. No luck. I carefully calibrated the personal space of the attractive girl in front of me. That didn't seem to be a problem with the Chinese guy crowding behind. Line etiquette; that cultural thing.
It got more complicated when we reached the 'S'; total strangers forced to stand face-to-face. We all studied each other, not too closely and definitely not too long. I memorized every sign in the room, studied the ceiling, studied the floor. Studied the video camera, but not too closely and not too long. What's that all about? Get a grip, I told myself, they're not going to drag you out of the line for looking.
A small boy sat on the floor and kicked a wooden partition out of boredom. I chuckled, for the benefit of the embarrassed mother and because I was a little jealous of him.
Finally, a familiar face. Okay, we'd just played against each other a few times in a pool league. Not important, today we were good buddies, and the line trudged forward.
Another boy got caught looking at me too long. I smiled at him. He'll learn.
Really, somehow I knew it was coming. When only one person was in front of me a cashier frowned. She studied her paperwork, went into the supervisor's office and started querying the other cashiers. I thought of Brautigan.
"It always happens when you're next in line, doesn't it?" I asked the girl in front of me. She smiled and answered. We were honorary acquaintances after an hour in line.
The next cashier patiently waited for her customer as someone walked up and gave her a few bills. She must have texted a friend because she was short of cash. I'm guessing, mind you, because one sign said to respect other customers' privacy. The first messenger didn't bring enough. Another friend came, and another after five minutes. (Maybe I'm exaggerating) I thought of the Sistine Chapel.
The third cashier had her own worries. I wasn't watching closely-- privacy, you know-- but there seemed to be some haggling involved, with the customer periodically reaching into various pockets.
I'd recreated most of Complicated Banking Problems, a Brautigan short story, by the time I sailed through my turn at the counter. He was back in my head after all of these years.
That was the only story I could remember, but an amazing thing happened. I Googled his stories but didn't even have to open most links. The title would bring them back, or a teaser like "When I got there they were burying the lion in the back yard again. As usual, it was a hastily dug grave..."
I liked him a lot at a certain time, though I took some flak because he wasn't a Serious Writer. I can live with that; it was his surrealist sensibility I was looking for.
And I found someone reading the story:
It started, like many of my musings these days, with the Commonwealth Utilities Corporation. Oops, I thought, maybe Friday afternoon isn't a good time to pay my bills.
Two laps around the parking lot should have warned me. Maybe they're all in Joeten shopping, thought I. Oh. No. The line snaked in a backwards 'S' around the ropes with its twitching tail almost at the door. They probably just cashed their paychecks. What's my excuse?
Years of training kicked in. I looked for acquaintances to kill some time chatting. No luck. I carefully calibrated the personal space of the attractive girl in front of me. That didn't seem to be a problem with the Chinese guy crowding behind. Line etiquette; that cultural thing.
It got more complicated when we reached the 'S'; total strangers forced to stand face-to-face. We all studied each other, not too closely and definitely not too long. I memorized every sign in the room, studied the ceiling, studied the floor. Studied the video camera, but not too closely and not too long. What's that all about? Get a grip, I told myself, they're not going to drag you out of the line for looking.
A small boy sat on the floor and kicked a wooden partition out of boredom. I chuckled, for the benefit of the embarrassed mother and because I was a little jealous of him.
Finally, a familiar face. Okay, we'd just played against each other a few times in a pool league. Not important, today we were good buddies, and the line trudged forward.
Another boy got caught looking at me too long. I smiled at him. He'll learn.
Really, somehow I knew it was coming. When only one person was in front of me a cashier frowned. She studied her paperwork, went into the supervisor's office and started querying the other cashiers. I thought of Brautigan.
"It always happens when you're next in line, doesn't it?" I asked the girl in front of me. She smiled and answered. We were honorary acquaintances after an hour in line.
The next cashier patiently waited for her customer as someone walked up and gave her a few bills. She must have texted a friend because she was short of cash. I'm guessing, mind you, because one sign said to respect other customers' privacy. The first messenger didn't bring enough. Another friend came, and another after five minutes. (Maybe I'm exaggerating) I thought of the Sistine Chapel.
The third cashier had her own worries. I wasn't watching closely-- privacy, you know-- but there seemed to be some haggling involved, with the customer periodically reaching into various pockets.
I'd recreated most of Complicated Banking Problems, a Brautigan short story, by the time I sailed through my turn at the counter. He was back in my head after all of these years.
That was the only story I could remember, but an amazing thing happened. I Googled his stories but didn't even have to open most links. The title would bring them back, or a teaser like "When I got there they were burying the lion in the back yard again. As usual, it was a hastily dug grave..."
I liked him a lot at a certain time, though I took some flak because he wasn't a Serious Writer. I can live with that; it was his surrealist sensibility I was looking for.
And I found someone reading the story:
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Oh say can you CUC
Sometimes I'm a silver-lining sort of person, and those clouds are positively shining this morning.
CUC clouds.
How can that be? Just today, the Saipan Tribune has articles about delaying public school openings, hiring alien workers and not telling customers where to spend their money when the Commonwealth Utilities Corporation is missing in action.
I think we had a record Friday: every story on the Saipan Tribune front page was about CUC; I counted six in the paper. The Marianas Variety went one better with seven stories.
And this is good how? Well, one of the reasons I quit reporting is that it seemed like I kicked some rock or steaming fecal pile every week. I'd take some flak from those affected, get a few pats on the back and everyone would run around shouting and doing their Chicken Little impersonation. Nothing was done and there was always something new to kick. I felt like the Stanley Torres of print and airwaves.
Inevitably, some of those stories were about CUC-- or Public Works before CUC was made autonomous to avoid political interference....
Have we got your attention yet?
Only a few tories are saying 'realistically', 'you don't understand' or 'that's just the way it is' anymore; the bugs that scurry when next week's rock is turned over are all chittering "CUC". Short attention spans don't offer the usual solace.
I hope the Lieutenant Governor is innocent (as opposed to being found not guilty--they're not the same thing), but the federal charges have sure got some people's attention. That's not my call, let a jury decide. I would recommend that his lawyers try to get a trial on Rota or Tinian instead of Saipan; the Palace of Justice can't afford to run its generators during power outages. Talk about prejudicial.
Culture shock
Every company has a culture. CUC's has been self-interest as opposed to public interest, sole-source contracts and payoffs both large and trivial. Nepotism and favoritism were uncontrolled.
The current spotlight (when the power is on) can only be a good thing. No contract will slip through unexamined, and those responsible know it. The Legislature can't 'table' this issue. The Governor may be ruling by fiat, but thousands of people are watching to see whether the Emperor has clothes.
Is that a light I see at the end of this tunnel? Maybe we'll actually get privatization with rational and more efficient management. It's been promised before, but Executive Director Tony Muna says he'll be training local workers while the alien workers bail out CUC's sinking boat. Those workers may come from a manpower agency, but, sorry Felipe, the contract will be scrutinized inside and outside of the government.
Muna has even warned workers about the the appearance of skulduggery. According to the Saipan Tribune "Commonwealth Utilities Corp. employees should not be telling landlords and the general public where and how they should buy backup supplies, such as extra water, to deal with power outages, said CUC executive director Antonio Muña."
Snack time
Just something for Greg Cruz to nosh on while he's looking for another hearty meal to get his teeth into, but why do we still have so many defective photovoltaic cells? I'm told that some of those do-hickeys that are supposed to turn off streetlights during the day were defective when they were purchased. If true, why wouldn't they have been returned to the supplier?
CUC clouds.
How can that be? Just today, the Saipan Tribune has articles about delaying public school openings, hiring alien workers and not telling customers where to spend their money when the Commonwealth Utilities Corporation is missing in action.
I think we had a record Friday: every story on the Saipan Tribune front page was about CUC; I counted six in the paper. The Marianas Variety went one better with seven stories.
And this is good how? Well, one of the reasons I quit reporting is that it seemed like I kicked some rock or steaming fecal pile every week. I'd take some flak from those affected, get a few pats on the back and everyone would run around shouting and doing their Chicken Little impersonation. Nothing was done and there was always something new to kick. I felt like the Stanley Torres of print and airwaves.
Inevitably, some of those stories were about CUC-- or Public Works before CUC was made autonomous to avoid political interference....
Have we got your attention yet?
Only a few tories are saying 'realistically', 'you don't understand' or 'that's just the way it is' anymore; the bugs that scurry when next week's rock is turned over are all chittering "CUC". Short attention spans don't offer the usual solace.
I hope the Lieutenant Governor is innocent (as opposed to being found not guilty--they're not the same thing), but the federal charges have sure got some people's attention. That's not my call, let a jury decide. I would recommend that his lawyers try to get a trial on Rota or Tinian instead of Saipan; the Palace of Justice can't afford to run its generators during power outages. Talk about prejudicial.
Culture shock
Every company has a culture. CUC's has been self-interest as opposed to public interest, sole-source contracts and payoffs both large and trivial. Nepotism and favoritism were uncontrolled.
The current spotlight (when the power is on) can only be a good thing. No contract will slip through unexamined, and those responsible know it. The Legislature can't 'table' this issue. The Governor may be ruling by fiat, but thousands of people are watching to see whether the Emperor has clothes.
Is that a light I see at the end of this tunnel? Maybe we'll actually get privatization with rational and more efficient management. It's been promised before, but Executive Director Tony Muna says he'll be training local workers while the alien workers bail out CUC's sinking boat. Those workers may come from a manpower agency, but, sorry Felipe, the contract will be scrutinized inside and outside of the government.
Muna has even warned workers about the the appearance of skulduggery. According to the Saipan Tribune "Commonwealth Utilities Corp. employees should not be telling landlords and the general public where and how they should buy backup supplies, such as extra water, to deal with power outages, said CUC executive director Antonio Muña."
Snack time
Just something for Greg Cruz to nosh on while he's looking for another hearty meal to get his teeth into, but why do we still have so many defective photovoltaic cells? I'm told that some of those do-hickeys that are supposed to turn off streetlights during the day were defective when they were purchased. If true, why wouldn't they have been returned to the supplier?
Monday, August 11, 2008
CNMI Lt. Gov. in federal custody
That's the headline from KUAM's Mindy Aguon (I was checking on the Olympics).
Lt. Gov. Timothy Villagomez, former Commonwealth Utilities Executive Director Tony Guerrero, Commerce Secretary James Santos and Joaquina Villagomez are supposedly in federal custody pending a 1:00 hearing today. This relates to alleged misuse of federal funds.
Aguon cites Saipan's KSPN-2, so there should be more on tonight's local news--if CUC's power outages cooperate, I add laconically.
Lt. Gov. Timothy Villagomez, former Commonwealth Utilities Executive Director Tony Guerrero, Commerce Secretary James Santos and Joaquina Villagomez are supposedly in federal custody pending a 1:00 hearing today. This relates to alleged misuse of federal funds.
Aguon cites Saipan's KSPN-2, so there should be more on tonight's local news--if CUC's power outages cooperate, I add laconically.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Privatization dancing
Most people favor privatizing the Commonwealth Utilities Corporation, from what I hear 'on the street' and see in online polls like the one on Rep. Joseph Camacho's website. But proverbally, the devil is in the details.
The Senate has sent the House Bill calling for privatizing CUC within 45 days back with "minor amendments", according to the Saipan Tribune. Well, that's helpful, but about what you'd expect when the story doesn't even mention the bill's number.
How many companies are going to sort through the engine pieces on the power plant floors, take stock of substations, lines and transformers and come back with a bid?
Somebody, preferably from outside the Commonwealth, needs to independently take a 'snapshot' of CUC before there is any request for bids. The Legislature was just guessing when it set the value at $500 million and now $250 million. The winning bidder will also face huge costs for needed spare parts and maintenance that has been deferred for years.
I'm groping in the dark here (Last night too, but that's a different story), but I've heard the company will also have to "protect" current employees. That's hanging an albatross around a pig's neck when hiring practices have helped bring CUC to its current state. The pool of qualified CNMI residents isn't huge. It would be suicidal to fire valuable employees, particularly with the tightening labor market due to impending federalization. Do you really want to pay for the others with higher power bills?
Like any new board members, the Public Utilities Commission had to rack up some frequent flyer miles before digging into business. That's done, but I doubt if they'll be ready to go in 45 days.
Privatization was a great idea 20 years ago. It's a better idea now, but not if it's another one of those rush jobs that has to be done again and again.
Oh, one other thing, a proposed amendment: "Proceeds from this sale may be used for operations only after retiring all government debt and unfunded obligations."
Speaking of rush jobs, The Marianas Public Land Trust will be meeting in the Morgen Building at 9:00 am Monday to discuss Resolution 08-03. You know, Aggreko money.
The Senate has sent the House Bill calling for privatizing CUC within 45 days back with "minor amendments", according to the Saipan Tribune. Well, that's helpful, but about what you'd expect when the story doesn't even mention the bill's number.
How many companies are going to sort through the engine pieces on the power plant floors, take stock of substations, lines and transformers and come back with a bid?
Somebody, preferably from outside the Commonwealth, needs to independently take a 'snapshot' of CUC before there is any request for bids. The Legislature was just guessing when it set the value at $500 million and now $250 million. The winning bidder will also face huge costs for needed spare parts and maintenance that has been deferred for years.
I'm groping in the dark here (Last night too, but that's a different story), but I've heard the company will also have to "protect" current employees. That's hanging an albatross around a pig's neck when hiring practices have helped bring CUC to its current state. The pool of qualified CNMI residents isn't huge. It would be suicidal to fire valuable employees, particularly with the tightening labor market due to impending federalization. Do you really want to pay for the others with higher power bills?
Like any new board members, the Public Utilities Commission had to rack up some frequent flyer miles before digging into business. That's done, but I doubt if they'll be ready to go in 45 days.
Privatization was a great idea 20 years ago. It's a better idea now, but not if it's another one of those rush jobs that has to be done again and again.
Oh, one other thing, a proposed amendment: "Proceeds from this sale may be used for operations only after retiring all government debt and unfunded obligations."
Speaking of rush jobs, The Marianas Public Land Trust will be meeting in the Morgen Building at 9:00 am Monday to discuss Resolution 08-03. You know, Aggreko money.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Order please
Gov. Benigno R. Fitial seems to have picked up some bad habits during his time in the House of Representatives.
The Governor issued an Executive Order yesterday amending his Friday Executive Order giving the Commonwealth Utilities Corporation borrowing authority. That's the kind of ad hoc legislating that's given the CNMI a black eye for years. I lost count; were there three or four Executive Orders before he got it right when he took over the Commonwealth Ports Authority?
Ah, well, from the Saipan Tribune story, at least the amendment drops the unconstitutional provision letting one house of the legislature approve the deal. (The Marianas Variety doesn't seem to think either order is newsworthy.)
Technically, it's not legislating of course, though EO's have the force of law. I tried to look it up instead of depending on the Tribune but the information isn't readily available.
That amazed me. The CNMI Law Revision Commission website has the Constitution, the Covenant, Public Laws, the Commonwealth Register and lots of court stuff. (Click on "Legal Documents" in the sidebar of the Home page.)
Go to Executive Orders and you get this helpful advice: If you need a copy of an executive order or information regarding an executive order, please contact Programs & Legislative Review at (670) 664-2286/2288 / (670) 664-2313 (fax).
Not good enough by half. You shouldn't have to guess whether there is an Executive Order affecting you. EO's, like laws and regulations should be listed publicly. Actually, the Commonwealth Register is pretty lame too, unless you want to fork out 100 bucks for a subscription. The Attorney General link is broken. Don't try to get in through the Governor's Office, you'll end up on Saipan.Com, though the browser will tell you it's http://www.cnmiago.gov.mp/.
How about an Executive Order requiring that Executive Orders be published?
The Governor issued an Executive Order yesterday amending his Friday Executive Order giving the Commonwealth Utilities Corporation borrowing authority. That's the kind of ad hoc legislating that's given the CNMI a black eye for years. I lost count; were there three or four Executive Orders before he got it right when he took over the Commonwealth Ports Authority?
Ah, well, from the Saipan Tribune story, at least the amendment drops the unconstitutional provision letting one house of the legislature approve the deal. (The Marianas Variety doesn't seem to think either order is newsworthy.)
Technically, it's not legislating of course, though EO's have the force of law. I tried to look it up instead of depending on the Tribune but the information isn't readily available.
That amazed me. The CNMI Law Revision Commission website has the Constitution, the Covenant, Public Laws, the Commonwealth Register and lots of court stuff. (Click on "Legal Documents" in the sidebar of the Home page.)
Go to Executive Orders and you get this helpful advice: If you need a copy of an executive order or information regarding an executive order, please contact Programs & Legislative Review at (670) 664-2286/2288 / (670) 664-2313 (fax).
Not good enough by half. You shouldn't have to guess whether there is an Executive Order affecting you. EO's, like laws and regulations should be listed publicly. Actually, the Commonwealth Register is pretty lame too, unless you want to fork out 100 bucks for a subscription. The Attorney General link is broken. Don't try to get in through the Governor's Office, you'll end up on Saipan.Com, though the browser will tell you it's http://www.cnmiago.gov.mp/.
How about an Executive Order requiring that Executive Orders be published?
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
I'm just saying
The Saipan Tribune is reporting that Gov. Benigno R. Fitial wants to let the Commonwealth Utilities Corporation borrow as much money as it wants.
According to the Tribune, "the executive order includes a clause allowing the plan to be effective immediate upon being approved by one house of the Legislature." Is there another clause suspending Article X, Section 3 of the CNMI Constitution?
According to the Tribune, "the executive order includes a clause allowing the plan to be effective immediate upon being approved by one house of the Legislature." Is there another clause suspending Article X, Section 3 of the CNMI Constitution?
Public Debt Authorization. Public debt may not be authorized or incurred without the affirmative vote of two-thirds of the members in each house of the legislature.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
CUC crime spree
It's just silly superstition I guess, but I didn't want to mention crimes caused by power outages until they happened. Beware sympathetic magic; don't tempt fate.
I'm sure it's not a first, but the Marianas Variety is reporting an assault in San Vicente Monday.
Evidently it started as shoplifting during an *unscheduled* power outage, but the owner's son chased five teenagers into the street. (Yeah, that's not a wise move, but I've done similar things in the heat of the moment, only to realize 'lawdy, I'm outnumbered'.)
He was conked on the head with a beer bottle-- let's not talk about that teenage issue here.
You can't blame the Department of Public Safety for this one. How can they protect all of the stores and houses without lights, especially when they don't know where and how long the outages will be?
Security cameras aren't much good unless you've got backup power. Let's just hope burglars using darkness as cover snatch CUC-kill items.
We could also hope the Variety keeps after DPS for follow-up on this case. It doesn't sound too hard.
The kids are all right
Just to balance the yin with the yang, I'll give teenagers and CNMI Space.com a plug. An online Variety ad caught my eye yesterday so I checked it out.
It's not my crowd, but Charlie Atalig has a good idea. I hope it works for him. Lessee, somebody... aha Walt Goodridge wrote about it. I've peeked when my son and niece played on Myspace and it can get a little creepy.
As a parent, I'd be happier with them using this place in virtual space. MMMuuahh...the kiss of death.
A couple of things even caught my interest, like the videos and the joke I'll never tell. If you can't figure that out, think about why Jesse Jackson can use the "n" word but it's not okay for me.
iSLaNdErS isn't bad either. It could be cut by half to tighten it up or reduced to a 'ten reasons' list, but that's just personal preference.
I'm sure it's not a first, but the Marianas Variety is reporting an assault in San Vicente Monday.
Evidently it started as shoplifting during an *unscheduled* power outage, but the owner's son chased five teenagers into the street. (Yeah, that's not a wise move, but I've done similar things in the heat of the moment, only to realize 'lawdy, I'm outnumbered'.)
He was conked on the head with a beer bottle-- let's not talk about that teenage issue here.
You can't blame the Department of Public Safety for this one. How can they protect all of the stores and houses without lights, especially when they don't know where and how long the outages will be?
Security cameras aren't much good unless you've got backup power. Let's just hope burglars using darkness as cover snatch CUC-kill items.
We could also hope the Variety keeps after DPS for follow-up on this case. It doesn't sound too hard.
The kids are all right
Just to balance the yin with the yang, I'll give teenagers and CNMI Space.com a plug. An online Variety ad caught my eye yesterday so I checked it out.
It's not my crowd, but Charlie Atalig has a good idea. I hope it works for him. Lessee, somebody... aha Walt Goodridge wrote about it. I've peeked when my son and niece played on Myspace and it can get a little creepy.
As a parent, I'd be happier with them using this place in virtual space. MMMuuahh...the kiss of death.
A couple of things even caught my interest, like the videos and the joke I'll never tell. If you can't figure that out, think about why Jesse Jackson can use the "n" word but it's not okay for me.
iSLaNdErS isn't bad either. It could be cut by half to tighten it up or reduced to a 'ten reasons' list, but that's just personal preference.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
The joke's on us
The Commonwealth Utilities Corporation has published one of those Good News/Bad News jokes, but like most victims of jokes my laughter is forced.
The good news? CUC is advertising for an "Engineering Manager for Power Generation" and for "Engineer (Mechanical, Electrical, and/or Civil Engineering)" at "VARIOUS DIVISIONS, SAIPAN".
Yup, you guessed it, that's the bad news too. How long have these positions been needed?
Geez, I hope one of them can write. Every time there's a story about alternative energy we get 'there's a law promoting it but CUC hasn't written the regulations yet'.
It sound's familiar. About 20 years ago, give or take a Board member's term, Sen. Herman R. Guerrero pushed through a law authorizing a revolving loan fund to build water catchments. You know, so maybe we wouldn't have to put up with water hours.
The good news? CUC is advertising for an "Engineering Manager for Power Generation" and for "Engineer (Mechanical, Electrical, and/or Civil Engineering)" at "VARIOUS DIVISIONS, SAIPAN".
Yup, you guessed it, that's the bad news too. How long have these positions been needed?
Geez, I hope one of them can write. Every time there's a story about alternative energy we get 'there's a law promoting it but CUC hasn't written the regulations yet'.
It sound's familiar. About 20 years ago, give or take a Board member's term, Sen. Herman R. Guerrero pushed through a law authorizing a revolving loan fund to build water catchments. You know, so maybe we wouldn't have to put up with water hours.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
The war that nobody came to
That Public Utilities Commission meeting Saturday could easily have turned into a zoo. I'll bet the Commissioners were wondering whether the Chamber of Commerce conference room was large enough.
Nobody came.
I take that back. There was a quorum and a couple of people watched, but where were Greg and Ed and the countless others who have been after the Commonwealth Utilities Corporation?* Why, it might even had made a nice filler story for the media.
Legislative oversite is fine, but this is the agency tasked with setting the price of your power. Its meetings have a lot more to do with dealing with CUC's problems than standing on some government lawn with a sign.
I know. Meetings are boring, like wading through the newspaper ads announcing them.
But there is important information in the ads; it's why I still buy newspapers instead of reading them online. Besides, I don't want to miss the occasional gem, like the CNMI Department of Labor announcing that Labor Case 02-274 will be heard at 11 a.m. July 18. "Not on file" has a claim against "Not on file". I expect the wisdom of Solomon in this one, with nobody winning and nobody losing.
Check Monday's second notice: the time and date may change.
* Covering my glass house: Saturday is a work day for me. I wanted to go, but couldn't break loose.
Nobody came.
I take that back. There was a quorum and a couple of people watched, but where were Greg and Ed and the countless others who have been after the Commonwealth Utilities Corporation?* Why, it might even had made a nice filler story for the media.
Legislative oversite is fine, but this is the agency tasked with setting the price of your power. Its meetings have a lot more to do with dealing with CUC's problems than standing on some government lawn with a sign.
I know. Meetings are boring, like wading through the newspaper ads announcing them.
But there is important information in the ads; it's why I still buy newspapers instead of reading them online. Besides, I don't want to miss the occasional gem, like the CNMI Department of Labor announcing that Labor Case 02-274 will be heard at 11 a.m. July 18. "Not on file" has a claim against "Not on file". I expect the wisdom of Solomon in this one, with nobody winning and nobody losing.
Check Monday's second notice: the time and date may change.
* Covering my glass house: Saturday is a work day for me. I wanted to go, but couldn't break loose.
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Borrow me $4 million
Rep. Victor B. Hocog says they're looking at raiding the Marianas Public Land Trust for four of the six million dollars needed for temporary power from Aggreko International.
Woops, how do they stick with "strict standards of fiduciary care" while making " reasonable, careful and prudent investments" on this one?
Fool me twice, shame on me
The Commonwealth Development Authority has already tossed $45.5 million into that black hole. Maybe they've read up on fiduciary duty: while forgiveness was 'authorized' they didn't go for it. Oh, but CDA did give Gov. Benigno R. Fitial another $4 million two months after the first bill.
So I suppose MPLT will have to stand in line for repayment.
Woops, how do they stick with "strict standards of fiduciary care" while making " reasonable, careful and prudent investments" on this one?
Fool me twice, shame on me
The Commonwealth Development Authority has already tossed $45.5 million into that black hole. Maybe they've read up on fiduciary duty: while forgiveness was 'authorized' they didn't go for it. Oh, but CDA did give Gov. Benigno R. Fitial another $4 million two months after the first bill.
So I suppose MPLT will have to stand in line for repayment.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Good for Tina Sablan
Rep. Tina Sablan and two other lawmakers deserve credit for voting against a bill to privatize the Commonwealth Utilities Corporation. I single out Sablan because the Saipan Tribune didn't report why Francisco Dela Cruz and Edward Salas voted no.
Don't get me wrong, I've wanted CUC to be privatized for more than 20 years. If it's a crooked deal, then go after the bad guys.
But I'd have to agree with Sablan:
“Previous efforts to privatize CUC failed primarily because they were rushed and involved a multitude of procurement irregularities. By rushing this bill, I feel we're just repeating history,” she said.
(CUC irony: Saved this morning, but the power went out just as I was about to post it)
Don't get me wrong, I've wanted CUC to be privatized for more than 20 years. If it's a crooked deal, then go after the bad guys.
But I'd have to agree with Sablan:
“Previous efforts to privatize CUC failed primarily because they were rushed and involved a multitude of procurement irregularities. By rushing this bill, I feel we're just repeating history,” she said.
(CUC irony: Saved this morning, but the power went out just as I was about to post it)
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Modem well done
My modem died today. Actually, it's been in failing health for about a month, but the technician has officially pronounced it DOA. Like most trails of woe these days, the breadcrumbs seem to lead to the Commonwealth Utilities Corporation.
I suggested that, even though it was on the backup battery, it probably hadn't done the little DSL gadget any good to be reset from one to three times a day. She agreed.
I combine my trips these days, so I went mouse hunting while I was on the road. Batteries were stacked in a pyramid at PC Outlet. “Your best seller?” I asked. The clerk smiled. I'm shopping around, because mine has been warning me with strange plaintive chirps that it's not happy about working this hard. My brother's just went to the great recharger.
All of which makes me wonder about the cumulative toll on Saipan's electrical population. Many of our toys just aren't designed to be abused this way. Cycling between off and on is the most precarious part of their existence, dangerous like taking off and landing in an airplane. Add the horrendous spikes that piggyback on our already 'dirty' power and, well...
I also wonder how many backup generators are getting enough hours that they're ready for an overhaul. And, because of the economy, how many people will be like CUC and put off that maintenance.
“The mouse that roared?”
The clerk didn't get it. It's an old movie after all, and a tale of a country declaring war on the United States so it can get aid isn't very relevant here.
My chosen rodent has a microphone. “Free” earphones thrown in. No webcam yet, though I was tempted. I'm not ready to play dress-up on the net and, hmm, I'll have to see how federalized immigration would affect that other idea. You know, the sort of Call Center we're likely to get.
I suggested that, even though it was on the backup battery, it probably hadn't done the little DSL gadget any good to be reset from one to three times a day. She agreed.
I combine my trips these days, so I went mouse hunting while I was on the road. Batteries were stacked in a pyramid at PC Outlet. “Your best seller?” I asked. The clerk smiled. I'm shopping around, because mine has been warning me with strange plaintive chirps that it's not happy about working this hard. My brother's just went to the great recharger.
All of which makes me wonder about the cumulative toll on Saipan's electrical population. Many of our toys just aren't designed to be abused this way. Cycling between off and on is the most precarious part of their existence, dangerous like taking off and landing in an airplane. Add the horrendous spikes that piggyback on our already 'dirty' power and, well...
I also wonder how many backup generators are getting enough hours that they're ready for an overhaul. And, because of the economy, how many people will be like CUC and put off that maintenance.
“The mouse that roared?”
The clerk didn't get it. It's an old movie after all, and a tale of a country declaring war on the United States so it can get aid isn't very relevant here.
My chosen rodent has a microphone. “Free” earphones thrown in. No webcam yet, though I was tempted. I'm not ready to play dress-up on the net and, hmm, I'll have to see how federalized immigration would affect that other idea. You know, the sort of Call Center we're likely to get.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Power ratings
I blame it all on the Commonwealth Utilities Corporation.
Random power outages have made my modem as temperamental as Greg Cruz. When there's power, and when I can finagle an internet connection, I burn my time on updates and on picking up after my kids' internet adventures. Read a few stories and woops, where's the time go?
The mood thing tops it off. What I'm thinking does not translate well. Share my thoughts? I think not. Wouldn't be prudent.
Field of dreams
On the bright side, reliable power and a $186,000 salary makes the new Washington Delegate sinecure look awfully nice. But no, in that crowded field I'd have less chance --and certainly fewer contributions-- than Lynn Knight. Maybe if I announced my Chief of Staff ahead of time; a running mate with a large family.
Just a candlelight dream. The candidates seem to fall into two groups, and it's hard to see myself as either qualified or deluded.
I'm sure Pete Tenorio or Greg Sablan would do a good job. John Gonzales, maybe, I don't know him. But what's up with that Director of Mining stuff? Too many employees to supervise? Too much work? Not enough salary?
Jeez, don't expect a shopping list, there are too many names. A primary and runoff would be the way to go, except that there's no money for one election, nevermind two.
Survivor Saipan
I'm more intrigued by the second group anyway. To an outside observer it's obvious that some of these people simply have no chance, even in a split election. Who are they talking to? Is it just about putting 'ran for' on their resume?
Unless, of course, they're counting on the 'survivor' vote. Who do you most want to vote off of the island? If that's what's going on I've got a few suggestions.
Random power outages have made my modem as temperamental as Greg Cruz. When there's power, and when I can finagle an internet connection, I burn my time on updates and on picking up after my kids' internet adventures. Read a few stories and woops, where's the time go?
The mood thing tops it off. What I'm thinking does not translate well. Share my thoughts? I think not. Wouldn't be prudent.
Field of dreams
On the bright side, reliable power and a $186,000 salary makes the new Washington Delegate sinecure look awfully nice. But no, in that crowded field I'd have less chance --and certainly fewer contributions-- than Lynn Knight. Maybe if I announced my Chief of Staff ahead of time; a running mate with a large family.
Just a candlelight dream. The candidates seem to fall into two groups, and it's hard to see myself as either qualified or deluded.
I'm sure Pete Tenorio or Greg Sablan would do a good job. John Gonzales, maybe, I don't know him. But what's up with that Director of Mining stuff? Too many employees to supervise? Too much work? Not enough salary?
Jeez, don't expect a shopping list, there are too many names. A primary and runoff would be the way to go, except that there's no money for one election, nevermind two.
Survivor Saipan
I'm more intrigued by the second group anyway. To an outside observer it's obvious that some of these people simply have no chance, even in a split election. Who are they talking to? Is it just about putting 'ran for' on their resume?
Unless, of course, they're counting on the 'survivor' vote. Who do you most want to vote off of the island? If that's what's going on I've got a few suggestions.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Power failure
Tomorrow's Saipan Tribune says Commonwealth Utilities Corporation outages have damaged five compressors in the new prison's air conditioners.
Score one for common sense. From the story:
Somebody there is not a one-trial learner. Whenever there is an outage I immediately shut off all air-cons and coolers. I know from experience that there will be surges and massive fluctuations when the power comes back. It's best to wait ten or fifteen minutes until the load settles in. If it's 4 am, so be it, I go to the businesses.
I lost a compressor. Once, because I was lazy that day. If it happened five times I'd fire myself.
But the prison's units are still in the warranty period, you might say. Maybe they're covered, if we're lucky, but it's not the manufacturer's fault.
Score one for common sense. From the story:
Department of Corrections Commissioner Lino Tenorio disclosed that three air-conditioning compressors broke down in the past three months due to power fluctuations.
Tenorio said another compressor broke down last month, while the fifth one happened just two days ago.
Somebody there is not a one-trial learner. Whenever there is an outage I immediately shut off all air-cons and coolers. I know from experience that there will be surges and massive fluctuations when the power comes back. It's best to wait ten or fifteen minutes until the load settles in. If it's 4 am, so be it, I go to the businesses.
I lost a compressor. Once, because I was lazy that day. If it happened five times I'd fire myself.
But the prison's units are still in the warranty period, you might say. Maybe they're covered, if we're lucky, but it's not the manufacturer's fault.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Capitol letter
Well, then. This started out as an email to the Marianas Variety and Saipan Tribune-- the first three sentences anyway. I was debating whether to send it when the power went out for six of the last seven hours. That's a long stew on the slow cooker; now it's best in an obscure blog. I think you'll agree.
Dear Leaders:
We already know the State of the Commonwealth. Show us the Legislature does by having your ceremony on a public lawn. You've already got the tables and tents.
Just think, your names will be plastered all over the place. There might be some disagreement about who gets featured at the head tables that will be in all of the pictures, but statesmen like you can solve petty problems like that.
You might need a generator if there's no power, or if the Commonwealth Utilities Corporation cuts you off. Otherwise it costs nothing. Don't worry about pupus, we can eat cake.
In your invitation, please ask the Governor to have all of his Department and Agency Heads and Board Members stand so the crowd can acknowledge them. Your tribute could be a moment of silence.
s/
Bonus feature
Because we're blogged down and not in the newspaper, we can have the First Ever Sarcasm Contest. The letter got choked up with all of the “”'s I put around words to show I was Just Kidding. So I pulled them. Now you can earn fame and glory by putting them back.
Just “list” the words in this piece that should have “” around them. With all of the pilfering going around these days, your comments will surely be plagiarized (and why not), so feel free to drop an email to sosaipan@yahoo.com. If you wish to remain anonymous, the Subject of your email should be the Secret Code 'nonynonynony'. No Nigerian bank clerks, please.
All finalists will offered a job When I Get Elected. As a tiebreaker, include your very own Sarcastic Suggestion. The good ones from the emails will be featured, unless they're so disgusting I won't even cut-and-paste them.
You might earn a persona non grata unless you're anonymous. That's your problem, and probably a disqualification anyway. No worries, mate. You'd still qualify for the Second Ever “Sarcasm” Award as soon as I figure out who to name it after.
Dear Leaders:
We already know the State of the Commonwealth. Show us the Legislature does by having your ceremony on a public lawn. You've already got the tables and tents.
Just think, your names will be plastered all over the place. There might be some disagreement about who gets featured at the head tables that will be in all of the pictures, but statesmen like you can solve petty problems like that.
You might need a generator if there's no power, or if the Commonwealth Utilities Corporation cuts you off. Otherwise it costs nothing. Don't worry about pupus, we can eat cake.
In your invitation, please ask the Governor to have all of his Department and Agency Heads and Board Members stand so the crowd can acknowledge them. Your tribute could be a moment of silence.
s/
Bonus feature
Because we're blogged down and not in the newspaper, we can have the First Ever Sarcasm Contest. The letter got choked up with all of the “”'s I put around words to show I was Just Kidding. So I pulled them. Now you can earn fame and glory by putting them back.
Just “list” the words in this piece that should have “” around them. With all of the pilfering going around these days, your comments will surely be plagiarized (and why not), so feel free to drop an email to sosaipan@yahoo.com. If you wish to remain anonymous, the Subject of your email should be the Secret Code 'nonynonynony'. No Nigerian bank clerks, please.
All finalists will offered a job When I Get Elected. As a tiebreaker, include your very own Sarcastic Suggestion. The good ones from the emails will be featured, unless they're so disgusting I won't even cut-and-paste them.
You might earn a persona non grata unless you're anonymous. That's your problem, and probably a disqualification anyway. No worries, mate. You'd still qualify for the Second Ever “Sarcasm” Award as soon as I figure out who to name it after.
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